My Apologies: A FE Fates Fanfic
by BENXJeffislife
Summary: Leo is depressed, his family doesn't know, Brynhildr helps Leo get the love he deserves


Leo looked down at his pale wrist, the delicate porcelain skin of it was scarred with a multitude of cuts. These weren't just any cuts placed wherever he could fit them though, each cut helped form a letter which in turn formed a word. The words that were carved into his flesh were all self-discriminating, and heartbreaking.

 ** _-Fool-_**

 ** _-Scum-_**

 ** _-Envy-_**

 ** _-I'm-_**

 ** _-Sorry-_**

 ** _-HELP-_**

 ** _-Selfish-_**

 ** _-Kill-_**

 ** _-Die-_**

That was the list of words that were ingrained into the flesh of his right arm, his left arm had an entirely different list.

 ** _-Imperfect-_**

 ** _-Be-_**

 ** _-like-_**

 ** _-Xander-_**

 ** _-Never-_**

 ** _-Enough-_**

 ** _-Be-_**

The list on his left arm ended there since his last cutting session had been interrupted by Odin, who needed help restraining a drunk Niles. He smiled sadly, how he'd love to end it all, he'd love to stop being a burden yet he just couldn't seem to do it. He knew his family needed him right now, they couldn't afford to deal with Leos selfishness and arrogance, for they were in the middle of a war.

He _knew_ he shouldn't be doing this but he couldn't find a better alternative to this strategy. Warm and salty tears slid out of his chocolate orbs as he reached for the pearl knife that rested on his bedside table. What would Xander say if he found out about Leos weakness? He held the knife in his hands and readied it.

What would Elise do if she knew her big brother was crying himself to sleep every night? He brought the knife to the sensitive skin and began to carve out his next letter.

 ** _-P_**

How would Camilla look at him after she saw him wallow in his own self-pity?

 ** _E_**

 ** _R_**

Kamui would be too embarrassed to call him brother...

 ** _F_**

Odin would blame himself for his lords suffering, and try to make him feel better with a story or something of the like.

 ** _E_**

Niles would probably be elated at the thought of his lord torturing himself, yet be upset at the same time, that sadistic bastard.

 ** _C_**

Everyone would be disappointed in him and _pity_ him.

 ** _T-_**

Leo felt a fresh set of tears fall as he watched the blood drip down onto the black duvet, blending in perfectly. He raised a bloodied hand to his mouth hoping to stifle the sound of his wretched sobs. But to no avail, so he reached behind him and grabbed a fluffy pillow and hugged it to his chest, he stuffs his face into the fluffy material and cries, trying to imagine it as one of his siblings. His heart throbbed as he thought of Kamui as his brother if it were Kamui that was hurting himself his other siblings would've done everything in their power to help prove his worth, this was not the case with Leo however...

Hurtful thoughts plagued his mind _"just end it here Leo, it may be cowardly but it doesn't matter anyway once a coward you're always a coward!"_ The cruel little voice inside his head said mockingly.

He looked down at his scarred wrist and nodded maybe he should listen to the voice... Just this once... What Leo didn't notice was that his legendary tome Brynhildr glowing an urgent red.

 ** _~In the dining hall~_**

All of the Nohrian royals, excluding Garon and Leo, were seated at the dining table chowing down on some of Nohrs finest meals. The meal consisted of some loaves of bread, a roasted boar, and some soup. Each of them talking away happily, seemingly not noticing Leos absence. That was until Siegfried and Yato began to burn like they were newly forged. Surprised the two brothers removed their blades from their sheath and held them in their dominant hands.

"How strange Siegfried never turned this color before..." Xander said in a worried tone of voice. Kamui nodded "yes it is Yato never turned this color before as well." All of a sudden Kamui was sent flying over the dining table, Yato seemingly dragging him with it. Siegfried pulled Xander in the same direction as Kamui.

"Don't worry darling! Your big sister will save you!" Camilla exclaimed as she chased after the two, Elise trailing behind.

 ** _~With Leo the Nohrian Scum~_**

The youngest Nohrian prince lay in the middle of his too large bed, curled in a ball pillow hugged to his chest, tears ceaselessly leaving his chocolate orbs, his mouth open screaming silently, the sheets beneath him soiled from his royal blood. His wrists stung from the pain, his mouth longing for some water, all he could hear was that horrid voice, his ears didn't even pick up on the footsteps nearing his room.

 ** _~Other Siblings P.O.V~_**

As the siblings neared Leos room Yato and Siegfrieds pull lessened but the pointed end of both blades felt heavier than before. None of them even considered knocking, for once they heard the quiet sobs of the person inside Camilla kicked the fricking door down.

The sight before them broke their icy hearts, laying on his bed was Leo, their baby brother (or big brother in Elise's case.) Crying into a tear and blood-soaked pillow, was Leo, his nightwear was a dark red color from what could only be blood, a stark contrast to its usual white.

Elise was the first to enter the room and approach the sad boy, she had a solemn look on her usual joyous face, tears leaving her eyes as she looked at Leo.

 **"B-big brother?"**

His head shot up allowing his siblings to stare at his disheveled form, his blonde hair a mess, puffy bloodshot eyes, tear-stained cheeks. He stood up slowly before backing up into the nearest corner, tears falling at a steady pace.

"W-what a-are you all d-doing here?!" Leo asked lacking his usual edge. "P-please leave a-at once, I am i-indecent!" He exclaimed, walking backward until his back met with the wall.

In a blink of an eye, Elise had run across the bedroom and wrapped her arms around the unsuspecting male tightly. She felt Leo stiffen at her touch to which she frowned. "Big brother?" Leos suspicious expression wavered before he sank to his knees, taking Elise down with him.

Leo raised his hands up to his face and rubbed his eyes, his shoulders shook and his lips parted as he began to hyperventilate. Elise just held onto him tighter as he cried into her hair. Their older siblings stood in place, too shocked to move or speak.

"There, there Leo, it's alright Elise is here for you!" The girl said, offering the one thing Leo had been looking for this whole time reassurance. Leo dropped his hands from his face and encircled Elises figure with them.

"T-thanks." He mumbles as his cries die down. His words break the other three siblings out of their daze and they rush over to hug him, well Camilla and Corrin do, they just pull Xander with them. All three of them wrap their arms around the younger two. Leo lets out a gasp of pain as he feels pressure on his open wounds.

Immediately the older three pull away, each of them looking at Leo with a worried expression.

"Tell your dear big sister, where does it hurt?" Camilla asked as she looked him over. The lad is quite and she begins to worry, she is about to say something but Xander beats her to it.

"Leo, please tell us what's wrong," Xander says, a growl rising in the back of his throat. Leo looks down at the ground before he lets go of Elise and shows them his wrists.

"O-oh my g-gods!" Kamui exclaims, a horrified look on his face as he looks at Leos' arms. "Leo w-what i-is this?!" He could feel tears spill out of his eyes, this was horrible who would do something like this?

"Who d-did this t-to you?!"

Xander and Camilla gave Kamui a sad look, which Leo saw and it filled him with envy, Kamui wasn't even the one suffering yet he is the one they worry about! He looked up and made eye contact with his adopted brother, a calm look on his face as he prepared to explain the cuts to his brother.

"Brother these marks, are of my own doing, the words form a list of what I am and what I am trying to be, please understand when I say I'm okay," Leo said, his mount forming a smile, that did little to comfort his family.

Xander grabbed Leos right hand, and read the words carved into it, his eyes narrowing at a particular set of words, those being " **be like Xander**."

He pointed at the words and questioned Leo about them. "Leo what is the meaning of these words?!" Leos' eyes narrowed as he looked Xander dead in the eyes, a scowl setting itself on his face.

"What it means _brother_ is that I need to be like you! Just like everyone expects! Train harder like Xander! Act like a good prince _like Xander_! Be kind like Xander!" Leo yelled though he appeared to be yelling more at himself than Xander. Xander has never seen anyone look at him with such spite before in his life. "Even **you** tell me to be _like you! Whenever you try to help you just tell me to solve my problems like how **you** would! But I'm not you Xander! Why can't anyone understand that?!" _

He looked at Leo, a pitiful expression on his face, he knew his other siblings were looking at Leo the same way. "Leo..."

Leo glared at him and pointed an accusing finger in his face. "No don't even look at me! I don't need your pity!"

His siblings just hushed him and locked him in a hug, "Leo we're terribly sorry we didn't notice you're internal suffering but please allow us to be there for you from now on." Leo just nodded his head, his scarred heart couldn't take any more heartbreak. This was his chance he could finally get the love that he needed, he'd be a fool to pass this up.

"A-alright, I t-trust you..."


End file.
